<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Rock, Paper, Lynx by KinugoshiDofu</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28198032">Rock, Paper, Lynx</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KinugoshiDofu/pseuds/KinugoshiDofu'>KinugoshiDofu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, My own soulmate au, Smut, Soulmates, a lil smut, to please my secret snowflake</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:07:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,176</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28198032</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KinugoshiDofu/pseuds/KinugoshiDofu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Mhmm, that’s Betelgeuse,” he points to a flickering on the left of the rock, and then to a silver bit of phenocryst to its right, “and here’s Bellatrix,” and then he draws his finger upwards to a piece of crystal; together they form a triangular shape, “the Orion constellation.”</p><p>“How do you know that?” Remus can’t help but notice how incredulous he sounds as his brows furrow – because of course Sirius has these little hidden talents, even after six years of close friendship.</p><p>“My middle name is Orion,” Sirius explains with a frown, voice casual as he shrugs, “You know how I get with stuff I’m named after.”</p><p>Japanese wizards talk about the needle man, Norwegian wizards have Gabbro rock, and the British have plain old common sense.</p><p>And now, the real question becomes not, is Sirius my soulmate, but, am I Sirius’?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>122</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>The Wolfstar Secret Snowflake Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Rock, Paper, Lynx</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainegg/gifts">captainegg</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have "ishindenshin" tattood on my left underarm and it's my fave four kanji word and because my Secret Snowflake wanted soulmates but I wanted to keep consent unambiguous this sprouted forth.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Rock, paper, Lynx</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>Haori</em>: traditional jacket worn over the kimono</p><p><em>Jinbei</em>: set of tube-sleeved kimono styles top and trousers, worn in summer or as pyjamas</p><p><em>Yukata</em>: a cotton summer kimono</p><p><em>Kanzashi</em>: hair ornaments used in traditional Japanese hairstyles</p><p><em>Farmor</em>: grandmother (on father’s side)</p><p><em>Ishindenshin</em>: telepathy, communion of mind with mind</p><p><em>Soul-Stones</em>: a concept I made up for this fic, will be explained and introduced (<em>not</em> related to the infinite stones)</p><p><em>Sentō</em>: public bath</p><p><em>Obi</em>: sash used to decorate the kimono and keep it together</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Remus Lupin does not actually consider himself a romantic – despite the fact that his friends often tease him for being just that – and, quite contrary to what his farmor would have him believe, he’s not sure he actually buys into the whole “soulmate thing”. He thinks about it, maybe, leading up to his seventeenth birthday, more often than is probably strictly healthy, but always with metaphorical quotation marks and a good sturdy sarcastic inner voice. Never like… <em>for real </em>for real.</p><p>The general gist of it is, that he’s been embarrassingly, ridiculously, inexplicably <em>in love</em> with his best friend since maybe the first time he ever even laid eyes on him. Or you know, from before that maybe, when the wolf in him first caught scent of something smoky and earthy and <em>bitter</em> and he just kind of lost his self-control for a second and took a big whiff, like the proper weirdo he is.</p><p>Even after that stupid stunt he pulled in fifth year, where Remus had been pretty much ready to stab his impulsive, brain-leaking-from-his-ears-so-<em>dumb</em>, bestie into the next millennium. Or you know, maybe have a little-harder-than-is-strictly-playful run-in with Padfoot during a full moon. Or, as it stands, poke him in the ribs with his wand but being too pussy to actually hex him because, <em>oh yeah</em>, still in love. Has he mentioned how ridiculous his crush is?</p><p>The closer it gets to the tenth of March, the more often he finds himself pondering the premise. He has, of course, heard the stories from his grandmother, plenty of times. His own parents never really discuss it, but their Soul-Stones had matched up rather nicely, so his grandmother tells him. Since marrying and moving young, however, they had focused on starting a life and family in Great-Britain, and wonderful mythologies came second to working for the Ministry of Magic.</p><p>His father used to tell him Soul-Stones have no real value – if they did, why was the practice not common in other countries? How were all these people finding love and getting married, if there was such a thing as a soulmate, without whom your life could never be complete, wouldn’t they all just be perishing of loneliness and lovelessness?</p><p>He hasn’t properly spoken to his father since getting bitten, but it’s his scoffed musings at farmor’s hopeful letters that have Remus second-guessing her words.</p><p>So he keeps telling himself not to get too attached to the idea, and that, maybe, hopefully, his grandmother will have forgotten all about Soul-Stones. And that, even if she hadn’t, they were purposely vague relics of her tiny Fjellstrand Field magical village, and stood for nothing in comparison to “solid, British magic”, as his father liked to call it. So really, he has nothing to worry about, <em>right</em>? Right. Right?</p><p>At night he lies awake in bed, stares at the dark sky outside the window, and wonders. If there was any such things as <em>soulmates</em>, and the Soul-Stones, carved from gabbro rock on the night of a witchard’s seventeenth birthday, did identify said soulmate through the patterns of phenocryst forming smidges of stars in the stone, significant to that same soulmate, would his Soul-Stone have a smattering shaped like Canis Major?</p><p>***</p><p>The tenth of March comes in overcast and gloomy, the rain beating down against the windows as they get up for breakfast. Remus is absolutely <em>exhausted</em>, not in any small part because his grandmother had sent him a letter with the reminder to think lovely thoughts in preparation for the stone carving that night. She hadn’t forgotten, and he knows what will be waiting for him at breakfast.</p><p>However, he tries his hardest to act as inconspicuous as he can, even though it’s painfully obvious that the Marauders are pretending to have forgotten his birthday altogether, so they can surprise him with a party in the dorms later. He knows because they do the same thing <em>every single year</em> and it <em>never</em> gets old.</p><p>Over breakfast he does indeed get a parcel from his grandmother, and it’s solid and suspicious so he hides it in the inner pockets of his cloak while Sirius and James pretend not to hear the Hufflepuffs that come up to congratulate him. It’s rather ridiculous, but he feels entirely too on-edge for most of the day, so he can’t really be bothered about the fact that his best friends are really bad actors. Wherever he goes, it feels as if his grandmother’s gift is weighing him down, warily hidden in his pocket.</p><p>It isn’t until much later in the day, after a murky Magical Creatures class and a double of Potions that leaves him feeling a little light-headed, that he manages to escape from his friends and finds a place where he can have a breather and, perhaps, unpack his grandmother’s gift and find that it’s not in fact a really pretty rock, ritualistically cut with him in mind, but maybe something equally heavy and small.</p><p>Like… an <em>ordinary</em> rock. Norway has many pretty rocks, it is not unthinkable that he might get one for his birthday!</p><p>The rain has settled and the sky has gone a dark navy, so he finds a window in the North tower and heaves himself onto the roof there. The moss is a little damp against his robe, but for a moment it’s just him and the darkness and the pressing of the bleak sky wipes all thought from his head.</p><p>His fingers are shivering slightly as he takes out the parcel from his robes. The wrapping comes undone quite easily and—</p><p>It’s beautiful, pitch black gabbro, carved out in a circular shape and set in a simple but gorgeous golden locket. The smidges of delicate white crystal dot out a picture of stars, and—</p><p>Remus is not actually good at Astrology, like, <em>at all</em>. His friends often wrongly assume he is, as if being a werewolf and therefor being affected by the full moon grants him this illusive strength of naming all the stars in the sky and pointing out every constellation. It <em>doesn’t</em>, and although he enjoys watching the night sky light up with the little silver flickerings, it’s just <em>pretty </em>to him, nothing more.</p><p>Canis Major, is another patchwork entirely, because, Sirius is Sirius, and the brightest star in the universe <em>and</em> most prominent in said constellation. Oh, and his Animagus form is a dog. <em>He is Sirius Black and turns into a dog and Sirius is the prettiest star of Canis Major, Great Dog.</em> And Remus has this weird-ass crush on him, and has a grandmother who believes that the smidges of phenocryst glittering in the black rock are stars identifying who his soulmate is.</p><p><em>Of course</em> he knows what Canis Major looks like. He’ll never admit it aloud, but it’s pretty much burned on his retina. He could draw it in the sky right here and right now, with the bright light of the Dog Star to guide him.</p><p>The point is, he knows what Canis Major looks like, and that’s <em>not</em> it. And he’s not sure if he’s perhaps heartbroken or relieved, but probably both, and for a second he thinks maybe he can’t breathe. It’s not like he’d pinpointed all his hopes and dreams onto this one piece of rock, but maybe, <em>just maybe</em>, he had been hoping, <em>daring to dream</em>, that this would kind of give him the kick in the arse he needs to confess – instead, it feels like a kick in the guts, entirely unpleasant in a different manner.</p><p>He doesn’t need another reminder of how absolutely incredibly <em>stupid</em> it is to have a <em>crush</em> on <em>your very best, very straight, very popular, very handsome, very—</em></p><p>“Couldn’t ‘ave picked a place a lil’ <em>less damp</em> to run off to, could ya?”</p><p>Said best friend looks rather put upon at having to climb through the open window and onto the slippery rooftiles, but does so without hesitation. Such is the life of Sirius Black, permanently disgruntled, but always down to do incredibly dumb shit.</p><p>He has his wand clenched between his teeth, his lumos illuminating his pale skin and the scrunched up look he’s wearing, careful not to slip as he thuds down besides the brunette – it takes an embarrassingly awkward amount of self-awareness for Remus to remember that he needs to breathe instead of having a complete and utter meltdown, right here in front of his damned crush.</p><p>Sirius has already changed out of his robes and into uncomfortably tight-looking jeans, with a cosy colourful haori atop it, shielding him from the harshest of the wind. His long black hair sits atop his head, held there with a simple golden kanzashi, twinkling, just like his eyes are, his smirk widening as he catches Remus’ gaze.</p><p>“Well aren’t you just looking every bit the lost lil’ lamb,” Sirius thuds his shoulder into Remus’, and Remus thinks his mouth finally catches up to his brain, because he lets out a little, albeit awkward, laugh.</p><p>“What’s that?” the raven leans into his side, gazing down at the rock in his hands curiously.</p><p>“Oh,” Remus feels as if he’s been caught in some kind of act, ridiculously aware of himself all of a sudden as he rushes to explain, “something my grandma sent me.”</p><p>The raven gives a sort of noncommittal grunt, seemingly distracted by the stone. His brow furrows, “isn’t that Orion?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Mhmm, that’s Betelgeuse,” he points to a flickering on the left of the rock, and then to a silver bit of phenocryst to its right, “and here’s Bellatrix,” and then he draws his finger upwards to a piece of crystal; together they form a triangular shape, “the Orion constellation.”</p><p>“How do you know that?” Remus can’t help but notice how incredulous he sounds as his brows furrow – because <em>of course </em>Sirius has these little hidden talents, even after six years of close friendship.</p><p>In the grand scheme of things, he’s maybe forever one step behind his friend, looking at him from afar as he turns out to be extraordinarily good at sewing – proves this by nonchalantly fixing Remus’ socks, by hand – and then continues to act as if this is the most normal thing in the whole wide world.</p><p>Back in fourth year, Remus also discovered that as if by magic, the raven always made Remus’ tea <em>just right</em>. Remus would join Gryffindor table for breakfast and there’d be a cuppa, perfect milk and sugar ratio, just sitting there, waiting. <em>Exactly</em> the way he liked it, <em>every damn time</em> Sirius makes it.</p><p>There’s no rhyme or reason to why Sirius Black is good at these things – he just is.</p><p>“My middle name is Orion,” Sirius explains with a frown, voice casual as he shrugs, “You know how I get with stuff I’m named after.”</p><p>Remus is almost too stunned to notice the way Sirius’ eyes light up when he laughs, pale throat showing from beneath his haori – he notices though, and his stomach does a backflip.</p><p>Before he can properly process what <em>exactly </em>this <em>might possibly mean</em>, the other boy has already pushed himself to his feet, offering him a hand.</p><p>“Well then, if you’re quite done moping around, there’s a surprise party waiting for you in the dorm,” Sirius offers his signature grin, his canines showing as he winks, “happy birthday Moonikens.”</p><p>The roll of his eyes is automatic, mild annoyance at the ridiculous nickname. He tells himself he’ll think about it later, when he’s unwrapped presents and has had half a dozen butterbeers and maybe some nice spicy Ogden’s firewhisky, and has, hopefully, forgotten all about the stupid fricking Soul-Stone, burning a hole in his pocket.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>As these things go, he doesn’t actually forget. He gets sloppy drunk and then wakes up with a horrid hangover and <em>then</em>, with his brain pounding into his skull and his eyes swimming, he remembers all about this whole I’m-seventeen-now-and-according-to-my-grandmother’s-ritualistic-teachings-I-now-have-a-soulmate-who-may-or-may-not-be-my-best-friend thing.</p><p>He’s in luck, because James is still in his bed as well, seated upright and going through what appear to be owl-order catalogues. His hair is a tangle atop his head, thick curls sticking up at odd angles, but his eyes are remarkably focused for how hangover he should be right now. There’s a pretty little vial on his bedside table that Remus dares to bet his right pinky finger on is a hangover potion – James has been blessed with a boyfriend who is about as good a potion maker as can be, whom also has the sort of immeasurable patience with the older Gryffindor boy that leads him to making him potions for all his aches and ailments.</p><p>The boy’s a blessing, that’s for sure, and Remus reminds himself to thank him later, as his friend takes pity on him and tosses the vial in his direction after listening to his painful whining and groaning for a couple of seconds.</p><p>“So,” James waits about half a second for the potion to kick in, before rather obnoxiously tossing his magazines over to Remus’ four poster and flopping down besides him, stealing a pillow to make himself comfortable. He has half a mind to object, but the painful throbbing in his head is already subsiding, so he decides to indulge his friend, “what the hell do you get for a one-year-anniversary with <em>your soulmate</em>?”</p><p>Remus thinks he chokes on thin air, a garbled sound forming in his throat. Just like that he’s catapulted right back into the night before and reminded of the damned stone hiding in the pocket of his robes.</p><p>For his part, James looks mostly clueless to how he’s just given his friend a near heart attack, and although the brunette isn’t one to believe in coincidences, the entirely oblivious look on the Chaser’s face as he continues to flip through the magazines, leads Remus to believe that, apparently, completely unrelated to his own current soulmate crisis, the black boy is having one of his own.</p><p>“See,” James goes on completely undeterred, “Regulus told me about the whole <em>ishindenshin</em> thing and now that I <em>know</em> I can’t possibly show up with… like… a sweater, y’know?”</p><p>Half of what he’s just said makes about as much sense as heterosexuality does, although he is pretty sure his friend just casually suggested he buy his boyfriend a sweater.</p><p>“Ishin—” he absolutely butchers the first part of the word and then leaves it hanging there, making a face to convey his confusion.</p><p>For the first time since tossing him the vial, James gives him a look. His brows are furrowed behind his round rimmed glasses.</p><p>“Oh? You didn’t know? I though Padfoot’d told you for sure! They do this whole weird ass soulmate thing in Japan, and apparently Regulus is mine,” it all sounds entirely too light for how <em>deep</em> it actually is, but then Remus also figures, <em>this is what people who don’t believe in soulmates sound like</em>.</p><p>James, for all the love he’s gotten from his parents, is clueless to the significance of soulmates in other cultures – he’s about as British as they come, and his parents met each other the old-fashion way, at Hogwarts, the way most wizards and witches here do. It’s not entirely surprising, because he’s never even mentioned the notion of soulmateship before – not even uttered a word about it ever since they’ve met, and Remus had been pretty sure the other boy hadn’t even known it was a thing in some parts of the wizarding world.</p><p>Nonetheless, Remus would never claim his friend’s love to be not pure somehow. He is a bit of a twat at times, and not very adapt at the actual <em>romance</em> part of being in a romantic relationship, but he would <em>maim and cry and break</em> for Regulus Black, there is no doubt about that.</p><p>“So like,” James continues undisturbed, waving a magazine in his face, “if I get him this exclusive Quidditch scarf, do you think that’s soulmatey? Or this golden cauldron?”</p><p>Remus thinks that maybe his crush on his best friend really is rather ridiculous, when <em>really</em> thinking about it, but, at least he’s not in love with a man who thinks scarves and cauldrons are the hight of romance.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>He goes to the library, not really to bother Regulus, but maybe he’s hoping to get just a little bothering in. He’s early though, because the younger Slytherin is probably still stuck in class and the library is completely deserted save for Madame Pince.</p><p>As if by accident he wanders past a shelf with Astronomy books. He tells himself it doesn’t mean <em>anything at all</em>, but his stomach does an entirely irrational swoopy thing when he finds out that Sirius had been right – his Soul-Stone bares the Orion constellation.</p><p>If he’s being entirely honest he’s not exactly sure what to do with that information. The night before the marking on the stone had seemed like the Singular Most Important Thing In The Universe.</p><p>Today, <em>everything</em> is different. Contrary to what his father had led him to believe, it are not <em>just</em> farmor and “those cooky witches” she lives with who believe in soulmates – no, <em>Sirius Orion Black</em> himself has been raised with some sort of soulmateship engraved in his mind.</p><p>And now, the real question becomes not, is Sirius my soulmate, but, <em>am I Sirius’</em>?</p><p>The mere thought of it makes his knees weak. Perhaps he is just overreacting. Sirius, despite his Japanese heritage, is not so much of a dreamer, after all. On top of that he is very flirty with everything that wears a skirt, enjoys snogging a different girl every weekend, and is about as damn unrestricted, romantically, as they get, so, probably, in fact, the <em>least</em> likely of all Marauder to believe in soulmates.</p><p>He is delusional, he’s pretty sure. But he’s also never heard other people’s soulmate stories before and James had been absolutely horrid in his explanation. He pushes away this little twitching feeling in the pit of his stomach and tells himself he’s just <em>curious</em>.</p><p>Remus Lupin is exceptionally good at lying to himself.</p><p>“Are you stalking me?” Regulus saves him from his utterly confusing train-of-thought by calling at him from where he’s seated in a comfortable chair, obviously very aware of how the brunette has been skulking behind the rows of books for the past ten minutes, not having realised the younger Slytherin had arrived.</p><p>“I wouldn’t dare!” Remus manages to compose himself rather quickly, coming out of hiding with a put-upon look on his face.</p><p>The younger boy merely tips an eyebrow in disbelief, “then perhaps… are you following me so you can assist James in getting me an appropriate anniversary present?”</p><p>He can’t help but grin at that, “if I were a good friend, I would be.”</p><p>Regulus smiles in return, taking a moment to think about that. Then, he decides, “well, if your motives are not nefarious, why don’t you join me and dish,” before patting the couch besides him in an inviting manner.</p><p>“I haven’t come to gossip about your brother.”</p><p>“No? That’s a damn pity. I love a good Sirius-is-an-idiot rant, you’re always so well-versed.”</p><p>Remus feels his ears burn pink, but he knows better than to be embarrassed in front of the Slytherin. The boy is impeccable at reading other people, nothing escapes his sharp eye, and to try to fool him would prove mute anyway.</p><p>So, instead, he flops down besides the younger boy and fires off an explanation. About how Sirius is a twat – this is important, and should always be mentioned when in conversation with the shorter haired, smaller built Black brother – and how he’d been hungover but Regulus’ incredibly magic magical potions skills saved him, and how then, just like that, James had mentioned <em>soulmates</em>.</p><p>He doesn’t watch Regulus’ face fall, because it <em>doesn’t</em>. Regulus does not fall, he becomes sharp.</p><p>“I bet he was weird about it. People don’t generally believe in soulmates—” it’s because of that exact sharpness in his voice that Remus knows that he’s already jumping to conclusions and probably absolutely <em>dying</em> on the inside.</p><p>He’s Sirius’ brother, after all. They have an aptitude for the dramatics.</p><p>“<em>We</em> do,” Remus rushes to explain before he watches the raven’s brain jump off a cliff down into the sea of wrong conclusions and insecurities, “I mean, my grandmother does.”</p><p>He can’t exactly read the relief on Regulus’ face, but his shoulder do this slight slumping thing and his thighs spread just this tiny bit and Remus doesn’t need to read it on his face, he can tell from his posture.</p><p>They huddle a little closer together, because they’re going to be here for a while, and they need to be comfortable because shit is about to get <em>real</em>.</p><p>Regulus looks right and then left and then right again, a little haughtily, and then, he leans in closely, and tells a story.</p><p>The story is mostly about being small, at first. It’s about growing up in a tight-knit community and being home-schooled with nieces and nephews and other kids that look like you, jet-black hair and almond-shaped eyes. It’s about realising you’re <em>different</em>, but being raised in an environment where everyone is told to be the <em>same</em>, <em>or else</em>.</p><p>They get beatings for speaking English in the house, and he learns to adapt because he is forced to see what happens to his older brother when he wears his jeans instead of his traditional wear, or when he refuses to write the grocery list in kanji.</p><p>The children talk, mostly during calligraphy lessons. Regulus watches as his brother practices, quiet defiance in his eyes but his characters flawless. They learn about the magic in Sigils, and his brother writes him <em>anzen</em>, safety, hides it under his pillow before bed and kisses his forehead goodnight. Regulus isn’t sure if it’s magic – it just might be – but he never feels as safe as he does when he carries Sirius’ Sigils around.</p><p>They talk about <em>baba</em>, the old witch, and what they call <em>ishindenshin</em>, the communion of mind to mind.</p><p>He watches his brother write the characters: five strokes without re-dipping his brush in the ink, then four for the heart, and he flows into the third character next, six strokes this times, flowing, graciously downwards, and as always, needs more heart to bring it together. In the evening Regulus practices before bed, even though he’s not supposed to yet – he is only eight, and matters of the heart are not for him, not for another couple of years.</p><p>They talk about an immortal love, love beyond anything they know – love that will preserve their bloodline and keep them pure. It all sounds like a bit of gibberish, but Regulus thinks about it a lot, the thought of someone being there for him, <em>always</em>. He doesn’t know what soulmates are, but he’s already in love with the idea of them.</p><p><em>Baba</em> comes, the kids say, and she talks to the God and Goddess who see your betrothed, and then she tells <em>horishi</em>, the man with the needles, and he creates art for you. He doesn’t understand, but he listens in rapture, gazes in intend eagerness as one child imitates <em>baba</em>, eyes closed and making humming sounds, guided by the spirits of Izanagi and Izanami as he brings his brush down the scrolls and writes kanji in rapid procession. The children giggle, Regulus just wonders – what kanji will his betrothed be?</p><p>The needle man hurts, the kids say, but what you get in return is a clue as to who shares your heart, and is there any gift greater?</p><p>He watches older kids return to class after their tenth birthdays with gleeful looks on their faces. The children will be buzzing with excitement, urging the older child to <em>show us, show us, show us the heart of your heart</em>.</p><p>The older children never show them – it’s considered shameful – but it’s easy to tell by the look in their eyes that they wear their marking with pride.</p><p>“<em>The needle man</em>?!” Remus repeats in barely hidden horror.</p><p>Regulus snorts, nodding his head.</p><p>“We get tattoos on our backs, y’know, <em>the traditional way</em>,” he gives a look – the brunette remembers his best friend talking about it and his face scrunches up at the realisation that it must have been a very painful experience – before continuing, happily, “I got the character for stag and the animal itself, prancing around. Mother was stoked, imagined it signified my betrothed would be very fertile.”</p><p>Remus has to quite literally fight back tears as he starts laughing. At ten years of age, the youngest Black son was not out to his parents yet, and his mother must have imagined that he would end up meeting a suitable young lad who would give “<em>Regina</em>” many a small Black children.</p><p>They share a joyful moment, eyes meeting and the younger boy’s shining with mirth. It’s moments like these wherein Remus sees the resemblance between the brothers the most, with his head tossed back and his high cheekbones and pitch black hair – he has every ounce of elation in his body as Sirius does, although he is much less prone to showing it.</p><p>Eventually, the boy jabs an elbow in Remus’ side and has him tell his story, in turn. So he talks about the little witchards town his grandmother lives in, and how on the night of a witchards seventeenth birthday they are told to <em>dream lovingly </em>while the town elders perform a ritual.</p><p>The nature of the ritual is not precisely known, passed down from elder to elder, but it involves carving an oval shape from gabbro rock, and the process of setting it in a locket. It is said that the witchards soulmate will shine through in the rock with smatterings of phenocryst, depicting celestial bodies.</p><p>Regulus listens in rapid intent, his eyes widening at the story. The brunette almost feels guilty that he cannot give any more details – his experience with the Soul-Stones is mostly hearsay, as he was raised in London by parents who never even mentioned it. As so, his story is mostly a retelling of what his grandmother had shared with him since he was just a toddler.</p><p>There’s something very wholesome about it all however, the solemn calmness knowing <em>I am not alone</em>, the longing Regulus’ voice had reflected as he spoke of soulmates. Perhaps, Remus is a bit of a romantic, maybe, but if someone as analytical and serious as Regulus spent his childhood longingly looking at the sky, wondering what his beloved would look like, than maybe it’s not such a bad thing to be, after all. Perhaps it makes him a lot less of an idiot as he previously thought it did – because Regulus Black is many things, but <em>idiot</em>, it not one of them.</p><p>“So…” he feels this inane need to verify, as if the soft smile on the boy’s sharp face doesn’t say enough, “you believe in soulmates… despite James not having a tattoo?”</p><p>His expression turns cautiously blank, and he takes a few minutes to think the question over. With his face turned slightly, Remus is reminded of how much like Sirius he truly looks – the sharpness in his cheekbones, the frown set in his brows.</p><p>“Listen,” Regulus once again checks their surroundings, voice dropped to a whisper, “do I believe that some old witch spoke to Izanagi and Izanami themselves while they foresaw my soulmate? I don’t know,” he’s gone a little breathless and his eyes close momentarily as he continues, “What I do know, is that if James’ Animagus form were a big brown bear, I’d probably be here telling you of how he just happens to prance around like a deer all the time, and that’s what the tattoo stands for, y’know?”</p><p>It’s such an incredibly tender thought Remus kind of chokes up with it for a bit, because yes, he does, he thinks he understand <em>perfectly</em>.</p><p>When they part ways, Remus leans in for a hug, because he can’t not after having been witness to this beautiful and soft side of the younger boy. Regulus allows the embrace with an amused smile, and then, suddenly, says, “oh, I forgot to ask, what celestial body is on your stone?”</p><p>It’s kind of like maybe his stomach drops out of his body suddenly, a cold chill going through him. No matter how kind the younger Black boy is, he can’t actually just go ahead and <em>tell him</em>.</p><p>“Oh? I don’t know, I’m bad at astronomy,” he tries to shrug casually and then waves, heading out of the library without looking back once.</p><p>***</p><p>Remus, for all his many flaws, is a man who is at least semi adapt at achieving certain goals. He tells himself this, as he decides that the only sensible thing for him to do is to find out if Sirius’ ishindenshin tattoo could, perhaps, by any chance, be a wolf.</p><p>Or a moon.</p><p>Or y’know, anything possibly referring to Remus himself, in turn.</p><p>Because he’s <em>seen</em> the way Regulus and James look at each other and he doesn’t care what Regulus has to say about the matter, soulmates are <em>a big deal</em>, he <em>cannot</em> screw this up for Sirius. Before he even <em>considers</em> doing anything as silly as <em>confessing</em> his Merlin-damned, persistent crush, he <em>needs to know</em>.</p><p>He cannot even <em>comprehend</em> the idea of having a happily ever after with his best friend, without knowing, with one hundred percent certainty, that they are meant to be.</p><p>He wears his grandmother’s locket around his neck and, squeezing the stone determinately in his hand, devices not one plan, but a handful of them.</p><p>Plan A is simple, because it involves something that actually happens ridiculously often in the Gryffindor dorm. More specifically, it involves running into Sirius when he is in a state of undress, hopefully baring his left shoulder. With four rowdy boys in a dorm and only one bathroom, they actually run in on one another quite often, so he doesn’t feel too guilty about it, over all.</p><p>This comforting thought doesn’t completely stop him from feeling like a total creeper as he lays in waiting however.</p><p>Sirius has been walking around the dorm, gathering his towel and playing music and this has all the signs of him preparing for a long Saturday shower. No, Remus does not know that he takes longer showers on Saturday because there’s more time to, or that they are like a little private ritual for him where he plays music, lights some candles and basks in his alone time.</p><p>Okay so maybe Remus <em>does</em> know, but it’s not for weird reasons, just for normal we-are-best-friends reasons. Honestly. He is <em>not</em> a creeper.</p><p>He pretends to be napping, face hiding in his pillow and it works out fine for him because there’s probably an atrocious blush spreading on his cheeks at the thought of Sirius, topless. Or, maybe more, maybe completely bared and—</p><p>Unwilling to let his mind wander too far he jumps up from his bed rather abruptly. James and Peter barely notice as they are bickering over the last Chocolate Frog in their secret stash, a very serious ordeal indeed. He mutters, “loo,” and then slips into the bathroom.</p><p>The way it goes in his head when he devices this plan, is that he’ll enter just while Sirius is taking off his robe. He’ll get to see that lovely  milky skin, the soft fabric brushing down it, revealing just his shoulders. Maybe he’ll look back over his shoulder, confused, but amused and smiling. In his head he pictures this as a perfect moment, revealing all the handsomeness Sirius Black has to offer. Maybe Remus will get a little distracted by the way his flesh looks in the candlelight, luminescent, bare, <em>soft</em>. But he will pull himself together and get a good look at the tattoo.</p><p>In fact, Sirius is still completely dressed, lighting the candles with the tip of his wand. And, most importantly, “loo,” being a crucial part of his ruse, he now also actually has to <em>pee while Sirius is in the bathroom</em>. And he doesn’t even <em>have to pee</em>.</p><p>His friend easily forgives his transgression and then goes ahead and makes conversation while he turns his back to give him his privacy. He’s talking about the scented candles, and their potions homework, and Remus has been standing here for five minutes, jeans pushed down his thighs, <em>dick in hand</em>, not peeing, and “<em>you okay Moony?”</em></p><p>Eventually he manages an escape by insisting the need has just magically passed, but despite being a pretty good liar most of the times, the raven is giving him this little confused look, head dipped slightly to the side.</p><p>Well, at least he’d been right about one thing. Even as he left the dorms, too embarrassed to stay there any longer, he could feel his cheeks heating at the thought – the smooth skin of Sirius’ neck, dark ink running down to hide beneath his robes, the twitch in his rosy lips as he smirked. He had been <em>very</em> distracted, indeed.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>He sets himself up for much more of a success next time, he’s absolutely certain.</p><p>Because Remus Lupin is a master mind, <em>okay</em>? He is one of four people to create a magical map of Hogwarts, the most mysteriously big place in the world. He is one of four <em>Marauders</em>, this is <em>what he does</em>.</p><p>What he does, exactly, is dare Sirius to take a dip in the lake.</p><p>They are coming back from their Magical Creatures class with nothing but a free period lying ahead of them. The lake is glittering in the midday light, the surface like glass, ruffled only slightly by the wind. The air is cool, but they are <em>wizards</em>, and, most importantly, Sirius has done things a lot more precarious than taking a swim in winter.</p><p>So he takes a deep breath and as casually as he can, swings his bag back over his shoulder, prompting, “hey Padfoot, dare you to take a dip in the lake.”</p><p>It’s those two little words that usually get them all into a load of trouble. Especially James and Sirius have this absolute <em>inability</em> to refuse a dare – they see it as a thinly veiled insult, the implication that there is anything out there that they will not do, not even once. They take the bravery of their house serious to a fault, and that includes not backing down when someone dares them to eat a pack of Bertie Bott’s in one sitting, or call professor McGonnagal “mother”.</p><p>There’s <em>that look</em> that takes over his face – a dangerous glint in his eyes and that shit-eating grin that spreads so slowly it’s almost creepy. Remus knows in that moment that he’s in danger.</p><p>“Sure, if you come too.”</p><p>He’s already walking towards the lake and Remus <em>knows</em>, feels it in his bones that, any second now, he’ll start undressing and it makes it kind of impossible to say no because he <em>needs to know</em>. Sirius is looking back at him now, tossing his bag aside as James goads them on. And Remus follows, instinctively, because he can’t not, <em>can never not if his best friend asks him to</em>.</p><p>And the raven is taking his wand now, and it’s going to happen, any second now the robes will come off and Remus will <em>finally</em> know and—</p><p>And then Sirius just kind of rather savagely yanks him forward and they crash into the lake together, still very much fully clothed.</p><p>For a whole moment there is nothing but the icy cold of the water biting at his skin and the shock of surprise at how monumentally bad all his life decisions leading up to this moment have been. When his head breaks through the surface the previously just-cool wind bites at his revealed face and his teeth start chattering.</p><p>Sirius is besides him, white teeth showing in his grin, his hair matted to his forehead and sticking to his temples.</p><p>“Forgot a warming spell Moony?” he looks far too sure of himself, and even soaking wet, Sirius Black is <em>handsome</em> – a thought that annoys Remus to no end, if only because he can not deny it to himself any longer.</p><p>“P—perhaps,” he tries to sound teasing, but the clattering of his teeth gives him away.</p><p>The look on his friend’s face softens as he pads over closer – he’s still holding his wand tight in his fist, and as he touches it to Remus’ shoulder, the spread of the warmth is immediate. It runs through his chest and down his entire body, to the tips of his toes – he’s no longer cold, the heat spreading to his face and warming his ears.</p><p>It’s unnecessary with the spell, but Sirius still reaches out his hands to rub them down his shoulders in short, brusque movements. His almond shaped eyes are sparkling, mischief clearly shining through, and his lashes look thick with the water. It has little effect, the magic doing all the work, but Remus thinks it mostly that small gesture, that truly warms his heart.</p><p>Over the next couple of days he thinks back to the moment often. He’s known Sirius for years, but there’s still moments wherein the sudden tenderness of his moves surprises him. It’s not that he’s never gentle, it’s just that Sirius is many things, and most people would not use a word as “gentle” to describe him. It is certainly not the popular boy’s defining feature. That’s reserved for his nonchalance, his confidence, his quick wit.</p><p>Nonetheless, he is affectionate in his own, often obnoxious, way, demanding attention and hugs whenever he feels the need. <em>Tender </em>is something else entirely, a side of Sirius that is usually reserved for his younger brother, or James.</p><p>It’s reserved for full moon nights and mornings after. These instances wherein Sirius becomes <em>soft</em>, close enough for Remus to be allowed to bare witness to it, are few and far between. Yet they manage to shake him to the core, every single time.</p><p>So he decides it’s best to tone it down a bit, if only to preserve his own sanity for a little while longer. He has a back-up plan, of course, but it’s one that will require a lot of self-control on his part and he’s not very sure he’s brave enough to bring it to succession. It’s the kind of plan that needs a smidge of desperation thrown in there for him to be able to go through with it.</p><p>That evening he takes his time preparing for bed, trying not to too obviously stare as Sirius undresses. He thinks he might just catch a glimpse of the ink on his back, but then James throws a pillow at the other boy’s face and a tussle erupts and it kind of slips his mind. In the time that it takes for Remus to dive for cover underneath Peter’s fourposter and then jump out behind Prongs and smack him silly, the other raven has changed into his indigo jinbei.</p><p>In the morning Remus is usually the first to wake, so he lays in waiting then too – this time, it’s the dark locks and the dim room that obstruct most of his back from view, and he doesn’t gather his hair atop his head until after he’s changed into his white shirt. The kanzashi he uses twinkles brightly in the morning light creeping up through the windows, and when Sirius catches him staring, he smiles.</p><p>It’s soft again, or maybe Remus is soft, <em>he feels soft</em>, because he knows there’s a blush on his cheeks now, and he has to turn around to hide his embarrassment. It’s not <em>just</em> that Sirius is handsome – because <em>of course he is –</em> it’s also just that his wrists seem to dance when he moves and the silver sparks in his eyes speak even when his mouth doesn’t move, and it’s the fact that maybe the reason why Sirius’ cuppa is always <em>perfect</em> is because it’s <em>Sirius’</em>, <em>not</em> because of the milk to sugar ratio.</p><p>He grips the Soul-Stone in his hand. He knows what he has to do next.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>What he does next is wait until after Quidditch practice, when he knows Sirius will loudly complain about his sore shoulders in hopes of getting one of his friends to offer him a backrub.</p><p>Like clockwork, the raven flops down besides him after practice, interrupting his homework quite rudely. He pretends not to notice at first, continuing his essay on the Unforgiveable curses while Sirius gives an impressive yet clearly put-upon groan.</p><p>“Oh Moony,” he sighs pitifully, after another groan gets him exactly zero response, “my shoulders <em>ache</em>.”</p><p>He emphasises this with yet another groan, drawn out this time. Remus has to take a deep breath not to just kind of swoon and falter right then and there, but instead he very casually remarks, “we should take a bath, your brother gave me these healing salts that are supposed to help sore muscles.”</p><p>A moment passes and Remus is pretty sure he can feel his heartbeat in his damn throat. Then, Sirius is smiling, leaning into him enthusiastically as he exclaims, “that’s a great idea Moony!”</p><p>And so it goes that they sneak out of the dorm that night, after the castle has gone to sleep and there’s nothing left but the soft sound of snoring in the dorm. Sirius leads with the Marauder’s map in his hand and a towel tucked underneath his arm, and there’s moments where he throws back a grin at the brunette over his shoulders, or he tugs at his hand to pull him into the next corridor and there’s something in Remus’ tummy, a lot like flitterby wings.</p><p>They make it to the fifth floor unscathed, and then locate the statue of Boris The Bewildered without any further problem.</p><p>The bathroom is as roomy and gorgeous as ever, pristine marble tiling and the bath sitting in the middle of it invitingly. The mermaid on the far wall is combing her hair, looking up as they enter. She visibly lights up at the sight of Sirius, but the boy ignores her – if Remus is correct, this is his first time in the Prefect’s bathroom – and goes straight for the bath instead.</p><p>He plays with the taps for a bit, beaming at Remus when he comes to join him. He doesn’t need to say anything – Remus can see the gratitude on the older boy’s face, his eyes sparkling.</p><p>They end up filling the bath with warm water and not much else, so that Remus can mix in the bag of healing salts Regulus had gifted him inconspicuously after the last full moon. They turn the water a translucent black kind of colour, a little suspicious, but Remus knows better than to do anything as silly as to mistrust the Slytherin’s potions skills.</p><p>All too soon however, comes the moment Remus has been dreading since he thought of this plan in the first place. <em>Undressing</em>.</p><p>He turns his back on the raven so he can take off the top of his pyjamas without having to deal with his own wandering eyes as he tries to memorise the lines etched into the pale skin of Sirius’ chest. When he’s undressed and has folded his pyjamas and set them aside with a big towel, he wraps another, slightly smaller one around his hips, the blush already rising on his cheeks.</p><p>Except that when he turns back to Sirius the boy is completely nude, hands on his hips and a small towel sitting atop his head. He’s pretty sure he forgets how to breathe because—</p><p>The raven is strong, but his muscles aren’t obnoxiously bulging, and, maybe, what really gets to him, is that at this point his skin is perhaps more ink than flesh. It is ridiculously pretty, too, alchemy symbols on his chest and kanji on either side, moon cycles over his collar bones that change phases and shift gently. Down his hips, ancient runes and the small footprints of a wolf, a dog, a stag and a rat, happily trotting down his pelvis and—</p><p>He manages to smack a hand in his own face, a little too hard, hiding his eyes. He represses a pained yelped and instead complains, “Sirius! <em>Modesty</em>!”</p><p>He can hear the other boy chuckling, a hoarse sound that kind of does things to his heart – he has a <em>crush</em> okay, he gets to swoon over his <em>laugh</em>.</p><p>“Did you forget I went to sentō weekly as a child?” his voice has taken on a note of teasing that does nothing good for the blush heating Remus’ cheeks – mercifully, he hears the padding of his feet on marble as he retreats.</p><p>“M—maybe,” Remus mutters, grateful when he hears the sloshing of water that signifies his friend has entered the bath and is now, hopefully, mostly obscured by the obsidian water.</p><p>Carefully he takes a peek through his fingers to make sure his friend is indeed decently covered before actually joining him. It’s not that Remus had somehow <em>forgotten</em> about public bathing and how much Sirius loves it – it was part of why he was sure this plan would work and not rise suspicion, after all – it’s just that maybe he’d tried really hard not to think about the whole <em>naked</em> part of the activity.</p><p>Sirius makes a big show out of rolling his eyes before turning them to stare at the door so that Remus can drop his towel before entering the bath, and then he’s grinning and dipping down into the water so that all that is visible of him is just his almond-shaped eyes, lashes long and dark.</p><p>Their eyes meet and Remus can’t help it – he has to laugh at this ridiculous forehead of a man, playing ferry to a tiny towel, oozing mischief from just that slightly visible part of him.</p><p>For a while he allows himself to just enjoy the moment. Regulus’ healing salts are incredible, he feels the light pain in his lower back eb away, and as he washes himself he swears they’re helping one of the angrier pink scars on his upper arm settle into his skin more. The older Black is also quite vocal about the effect they’re having on his sore muscles, giving little happy groans and humming in pleasure.</p><p>He tries to be inconspicuous about it all, just cleverly moving around in the bathtub so that he can get a glimpse of the raven’s back. It’s a really difficult thing to be subtle about however, when Sirius is always turning towards him, meeting his eyes when he wanders out of sight.</p><p>He’s not exactly sure if it’s because Sirius realises he is up to something, or if it is just one of those soft, inexplicably <em>Sirius</em> things. His smile is really gentle though, lips pink and plump, and it has the flitterbies in his stomach going crazy.</p><p>Eventually he decides he can get a proper look at Sirius’ back when he leaves the bath, because he’s really wasting a lovely moment here. They talk for what seems like ages, until their hands are all pruney and Remus’ muscles have melted into a puddle. Even then, those dark eyes are on him, so unbearably soft the brunette thinks he might drown in them.</p><p>Except that when he hints that it might be time to get out the raven replies with, “after you Moony, I wouldn’t want to further embarrass you with my nudity,” and an atrociously cocky wink.</p><p>Remus is overjoyed to go first – to the point where he forgets all about the tattoo – if only because it hides the blush that is crawling up his cheeks for probably the 10<sup>th</sup> time in as many minutes. Sharing a bathtub with Sirius Orion Black while crushing on him? Perhaps not the brightest idea he’s ever had.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>He kind of loses hope for a bit. Just because apparently, for some ridiculous reason, Sirius’ back is some kind of really well guarded secret, hidden from all eyes. He even resorts to just plain out asking James about it, in a sickly casual tone, “hey, do you know if Sirius has one of those ishindenshin tattoos?”</p><p>And James, still on cloud nine for finding what he believes to be the best anniversary present ever – it’s not, it’s the latest edition Cleansweep, a gift James himself would probably like, but something Regulus could easily get himself, although Remus decides that waiting until <em>after </em>his friend has replied to point this out will be the better tactic – remarks, “he does, but Reg won’t tell me what it is! Bet it’s a frigging dog, leave it to Sirius to be his own damn soulmate.”</p><p>At any rate, he might be getting a little desperate and his crush has probably only multiplied by tenfold since all of this began, so the odds aren’t exactly in his favour. He’s also started doing this thing where every time Sirius smiles at him his head gets kind of flooded with how handsome he’d looked, rivulets of water running down his skin, dark hair glistening, and then he blushes and promptly has to look away. It is <em>incredibly</em> embarrassing, honestly.</p><p>It doesn’t exactly help that they are best friends and very close – because he’s become used to Sirius’ moods where he crawls into his bed for a cuddle after a bad day, or the raven making him a sandwich just the way he likes it when he’s running late for breakfast.</p><p>The point it, they know each other really well, and he’s pretty sure Sirius <em>knows</em> something is going on. He’s just kind of perpetually living in the fear of getting a wand poked in his eye for behaving like an anti-social prick.</p><p>But no. Instead Sirius brings him ginger tea with honey while he’s writing his essay, and changes into Padfoot in the safety of their dorm so that Remus can shower him with pets after a particularly frustrating ancient runes class.</p><p>He’s not entirely sure why Sirius isn’t making a fuss out of him acting strange – it is very out of character for him <em>not</em> to make a fuss, really – but for now, he accepts the fact with a careful reluctance.</p><p>He holds the Gabbro rock and thinks really hard, as if this too is an issue that can be solved if only he thinks long and hard enough, but he ends up falling asleep and dreaming of Sirius’ pink smile, the silver twinkle of his eyes and their dark corners, so similar to the Phenocryst crystal.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>On the weekend of the spring equinox, they decide to sneak into Hogsmeade to attend the celebration in the Hog’s Head. Equinox parties always turn rather wild, so they’re all quite excited about it, the night carrying a vibration of magic in the air.</p><p>He tells himself to forget about everything else tonight, if only because it is a joyous occasion and he’s been kind of dying on the inside lately, and for one night <em>not dying</em> would be really fun. So maybe he has this really irrational, slightly insane crush on one of his best friends, and maybe, or maybe not, they are soulmates. It’s all the same tonight, he just wants to let go and have a good time.</p><p>Which might prove to be at least a little hard, with the way Sirius is looking. He’s brought out his finest kimono for the occasion, the fabric thick and ruby coloured, embroidered with gold thread shaping lotus flowers. His obi is golden and tied into a luxurious bow at his back for the celebratory occasion, an accent Remus cannot help but admire after watching the raven tie his own sash in front of the mirror.</p><p>He’s wearing his hair down tonight, too, and it’s really distracting already, the way it falls into his face as they make their way through the castle and into one of the secret tunnels. He tells himself he just needs to make it to the party and then they’ll all be too engaged in the festivities to care.</p><p>He’s pretty sure he’s just lying to himself though.</p><p>By the time they’ve arrived at the Hog’s Head the party is already in full swing – there’s a punch fountain with dancing punch in the shape of rabbits, a gathering of Leprechauns dancing about, and even a group of decidedly non-surly looking Slytherins partying in the corner.</p><p>They waste no time getting drinks, and it isn’t very long before James and Peter are doing shots while Sirius cheers them on. Remus watches on in amusement as he nurtures his butterbeer, and he can already feel his spirits lifting.</p><p>There’s magic in the air, and tonight has all the promise to become a fine night indeed.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>He’s not sure how much any of his friends have had to drink by this point, but he’s pretty sure Prongs has disappeared somewhere in search of Regulus, Wormtail is having a blast on the dancefloor, and he’s not quite sure <em>where</em> Padfoot has run off to, but he has a glass of Wiggentree wine and is about to join a group of Ravenclaw friends, resolved to getting drunk properly, now that he’s seen to it that all of his friends have, apparently.</p><p>He is <em>not</em> salty about it and he does <em>not</em> miss Sirius. That’s not what’s happening <em>at all</em>.</p><p>Remus bussies himself with telling himself exactly this – and carrying his very full glass over to the table – so that he doesn’t even notice his crush is actually right in front of him until he’s quite literally run into him. And, in the process, has spilled most of his drink all down his front.</p><p>“Perfect,” Sirius’ tone is dripping with sarcasm, and his face is scrunched up in annoyance.</p><p>Immediately Remus feels guilt chilling his gut — the raven’s white haori is stained with the red of his Wiggentree wine — and he goes to apologise awkwardly, “I—“</p><p>Before he can even utter the words, Sirius is already rolling his eyes, interrupting angrily, “we need to talk.”</p><p>Now those are some very foreboding words indeed, but Remus is still holding the wine glass in his hand even though there’s barely a sip left, and with the rest of it all spilled down Padfoot’s front he’s not sure if he’s in any position to protest.</p><p>The night sky is almost completely clear, the stars twinkling brightly up ahead. As soon as the tavern doors close behind them it’s as if they’re bathed in silence, the noise of the drunk patrons fading away.</p><p>Remus barely manages to catch his breath from being dragged all the way outside before his friend angrily demands, “what <em>on earth</em> is going on with you?!”</p><p>The guilt he’s been feeling over the wine stain gets replaced with embarrassment — he should have known that Sirius would notice his odd behaviour and make a fuss. Really, it’s one of the ways he shows he cares — by fussing, obnoxiously and loudly.</p><p>“Sirius I’m sorry I—“ he begins rather awkwardly, feeling a blush rise to his face.</p><p>The raven shushes him with a stern glare, before continuing, “I’ll have you know that I like you. A lot! And I was pretty damn sure you liked me too!”</p><p>He thinks maybe his heart is going to beat right out of his chest, then and there. It’s beating so loudly he can hear the roaring in his ear and he wonders, how is Sirius not hearing this?</p><p>“I mean you asked me to take <em>a bath</em> with you for Merlin’s sake,” Sirius whines, absolutely exasperated, and Remus promptly blushes bright pink, mortified, “I was pretty sure you were going to confess then! But you—“</p><p>“No!” Remus finally objects, and then, realising what he’s just said, corrects himself, “I mean! I do! But... Sirius, you don’t—“ he struggles to find the right words for what he’s trying to say, but then he’s not sure what he’s trying to say either because Sirius just kind of turned his brain to mush. So he grounds out, “Regulus told me about the soulmate tattoos.”</p><p>“Excuse me?” the dark eyebrows knit together and Sirius puts his hands on his hips, obviously annoyed, “I fail to see what some stupid ass Lynx tattoo has to do with any of this?”</p><p>Remus thinks his heart might just break.</p><p>“It— a Lynx?”</p><p>There is absolutely nothing about him that is even remotely Lynx-like. The person that Izanagi and Izanami saw for Sirius, his betrothed, his meant-to-be, it is <em>not</em> him.</p><p>“Remus, are you even listening to me?” Sirius interrupts his chain of thought quite brutally, taking a step closer and invading his space. He has this very stern look on his face, as he says “I’m trying to tell you I’m in love with you.”</p><p>“But I—“ Remus bites his lip to keep from smiling, reminding himself, “I’m not a Lynx.”</p><p>The slightly smaller boy rolls his eyes again, although Remus swears he can see a smile lingering in the corner of his mouth.</p><p>“It’s <em>a tattoo</em>,” Sirius says patiently, in a tone that indicates that he might just be talking to the dumbest person alive, “If you think I’m going to let some old Black tradition invented to keep the family as inbred as possible dictate who I can and cannot love, you don’t know me half as well as I thought you did.”</p><p>Remus isn’t sure what to say to that. The flitterbies in his stomach are going crazy and his palms feel sweaty. He reaches out to grab at Sirius’ hands, squeezing them unsurely.</p><p>“But, a possible soulmate could—” he tries to protest weakly.</p><p>“I don’t care,” Sirius cuts him off resolutely, “I choose you. And I will choose you every day for as long as you’ll let me.”</p><p>He can’t help it, he’s smiling now, really stupid too. With his heart beating double time he watches as the grin spreads on Sirius’ face, matching his own. Then, he gets to watch as the raven moves to his tippy toes, leans in close and then that smile is on his own.</p><p>There’s no saying how often he’s thought of what those pink lips would feel like. Too many times to count for sure. But never in all those times thinking about it had he been able to correctly anticipate how it would make him feel. Because he feels electric, <em>alight</em>, and he never wants it to stop, his body <em>is on fire</em>, and Sirius is warm and safe and can <em>never </em>let go.</p><p>Except Sirius does pull away, that grin still in place. His eyes are half lit and dark, his pale cheeks having pinkened rather endearingly, and he sounds a little breathless as he hums, “let’s go.”</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>They make it to the Shrieking Shack without absolutely devouring one another, which Remus counts as a definite win. The house sways and creaks ominously, but they know their way into it by heart, sneaking into the barren place. One the second floor there’s some mattresses set up with pillows and blankets for mornings after a full moon and Sirius wastes no time leading them there, his fingers and lips demanding.</p><p>He’s pretty sure where this is headed and he wants to get there sooner. Sirius tastes like butterbeer and his lips are plush and soft — if his mouth is already this divine, Remus can only wonder what the rest of him will be like.</p><p>His hands are warm, gentle as they work on undoing the buttons of his shirt and then his lips follow the freed path eagerly. Remus’ fingers tangle in his hair and he gives a little tug, freeing a sound from those pink lips that sounds like sin to his ears.</p><p>The raven flops down on one of the mattresses, and then his hands are on Remus’ belt as he pulls him down on top of him. Remus struggles with the obi, but finds that the kimono is pretty easy to just push apart, exposing bare flesh and ink. Sirius makes that sound again, and there’s nothing else the brunette can think of anymore except for having him make it over and over again.</p><p>In retrospect they’re rather clumsy, but Remus doesn’t let that stop him. He explores the supple skin of that gorgeous neck, allows his teeth to nip at tempting flesh, notes when his affections illicit another moan. He could live in this moment, hands pushing up the obi so he can freely explore the delicious thighs and slip between them.</p><p>Sirius’ hands are on his fly and his touch is magic, but even better when he pushes down his jeans and boxers and their naked skin meets. He could die right there, cradled between the raven’s thighs, and he would have <em>zero</em> regrets. He is living his best life okay?</p><p>“Moony—“ Sirius’ voice is hoarse, a moan drowning out the rest of his sentence. His hips buck and he nudges his nose into Remus’ cheek, wordlessly begging for a kiss.</p><p>There’s no hesitation — he slots his mouth into Sirius’ and considers never letting go.</p><p>It’s like his whole soul is on fire, hypnotised by the raven’s tongue moving against his own, his hips bucking up in ecstasy. They kind of lose themselves in the rhythm for a bit, and Remus has to take a moment to catch his breath and savour their intimacy properly before it’s all over.</p><p>When he looks down at his long-time crush, he thinks maybe he falls in love all over again. Sirius’s hair is matted against his forehead and his mouth is red from kisses, agape as he pants hungrily. His eyes are dark, lashes fluttering against his flushed cheeks beautifully. He has love bites down the side of his neck, running down and mixing with his ink.</p><p>The moon cycles are moving, ever changing, and Remus realises, <em>he should have known sooner</em>. He should have known the day he saw those tattoos back in Fourth year, stretching across his chest, over his heart. Symbols he himself has chosen — for a reason that runs deeper even than their friendship does – and Remus never thought about it twice. Perhaps Sirius had been right to talk to him as if he was an absolute idiot, because surely, <em>he was</em>.</p><p>But Sirius has this look in his eyes, <em>wild</em>, silver swirled all the way black with lust and Remus can’t help but grin proudly at the sight. That’s his handiwork, after all.</p><p>“Come <em>on</em>,” Sirius urges hotly, grinding his waist upwards in a way that tells Remus all he needs to know about how desperate his friend really feels.</p><p>So he goes on, and on, and doesn’t stop, not until he has the raven reduced to a moaning little mess, coming all over their chests in even more of a mess. Sirius is, after all, very good at making messes, but Remus will happily clean up after him.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Remus wakes up to warmth, all along his back, and the feeling of gentle little nips at the base of his neck — a stark contrast to the bite mark he knows Sirius left on his throat before.</p><p>It’s not usual for Padfoot to wake before he does, but then this morning isn’t a very usual morning. For one thing, he’s pretty damn nude. For another, he has his fricking <em>crush</em>, equally nude and excited, draped across his back. One pale arm is slung around his body, the fingers tracing absentminded patterns bellow his bellybutton.</p><p>He secretly hopes this is what mornings look like for the rest of his life, but he’s acutely aware of this irrational fear that maybe Sirius had just been very drunk, or just very not in control of himself.</p><p>It is ridiculous, but then again, two weeks ago he’d been scolding himself for having a crush on Sirius in the first place. He is, apparently, very bad of judging the exact ridiculousness of certain situations.</p><p>“I can hear you worrying all the way over here,” that hoarse voice comes as if on cue, and the statement is followed by a little less gentle nip of his teeth.</p><p>There’s no use denying it, either, so Remus takes a moment to gather his courage, and then turns in the other’s arms, facing him.</p><p>There’s that soft smile on Sirius’s face as he flatters himself into Remus’ front instead. There’s probably a blush working its way up the brunette’s cheeks, but he ignores it. He brings a hand up so he can cup the sharp jaw, thumb stroking at his cheek.</p><p>“Lil’ worried I might’ve misunderstood,” he feels silly saying it, with the other boy very naked and very eager pressed into his own body.</p><p>Sirius’ face confirms that he is indeed being very silly. Nonetheless, he takes pity on him, and brings a hand up to cup Remus’ Soul-Stone, hanging around his neck.</p><p>“I’m yours,” the raven hums, “and I want you to be mine.”</p><p>Remus forgets how to breathe for a minute. He feels stupid and overemotional and there’s something stuck in his throat and maybe he’s tearing up a bit. It is, confirmed, ridiculous, but he nods resolutely, “okay. Anything you want.”</p><p>A sly smirk sneaks up the raven’s face, his almond shaped eyes narrowing. He feigns thought, before quipping, “I’ll need you to help me tie my obi later.”</p><p>Remus is already a bit lightheaded with the way the smaller man is moving against him, but agrees, “mhmm. Later?”</p><p>Sirius nods, and then those pink lips are meeting his own in a lazy kiss.</p><p>That’s the mood of the morning, Remus realises, lazy and slow. He feels lazy too, maybe because he’s spent the last couple of weeks so obsessed about something that Sirius himself deemed absolutely inconsequential to their relationship. So much worry and overthinking, and it all boils down to Sirius Orion Black being his own damn man and making his own damn destiny – as Remus should have <em>always</em> known he would.</p><p>So he resolves himself to showing the other man exactly how thankful he is that of all the people in the world to love, he fell in love with the stubborn asshole that chooses to defy all family traditions. It’s not rotten work, quite the opposite, with how tender Sirius is below him, how easily he bends and moves and stretches into the angles that give Remus all the access he needs.</p><p>For the first time ever he gets a proper look at the Lynx tattoo, taking up most of the pale shoulder. The creature is looking at him with fierce eyes following his fingers as he brushes them down the soft flesh. When he presses kisses there, the animal shake its head as if the move tickles his fur, ears fluffy-looking and sharp eyes content.</p><p>There’s so much about Sirius’ body that he feels like he’s never properly appreciated before – the ink on his shoulder blades, the slightly effeminate hips-to-waist ratio, the softness of his flesh as it yields under Remus’ hands. He could stare at it forever, enjoy the contrast of his skin to Sirius’, the rounding of his arse and the little dimples in his lower back. The welts that blossom on the marble skin when he digs his nails in, Sirius’ moan breathless.</p><p>It shouldn’t surprise him how well Sirius plays with this animalistic side of him, how eager he returns the hunger, how he licks at his bitten lips as if famished for more. He thinks maybe, like the raven’s soft side, this too is a side not many get to see; the absolute willingness with which he cocks his head, begs Remus to mark him with a growled, “please,” that isn’t very much of a plea at all – a demand, dark and horny, nails digging into the pillow and hips bucking as he complies.</p><p>Remus draws patterns down the spine with his tongue, digs his teeth into his firm buttocks, and revels in the sounds the raven makes. He’s a little mystified at how easy the older boy’s body yields, too slick to be natural – but then he hears Sirius groan as he drops his hazel wood wand back to the floor. He’s pretty sure the raven can feel his smirk pressed into his skin, ridiculously proud of how absolutely impatient he has him. But then he flicks his fingers and there’s nothing but hot wet moans and the sound of the linens ripping as Sirius tears at them, any annoyed comments dying in his throat.</p><p>There’s no way he can describe exactly what comes over him when they’re like this – it’s a deep, wanton part of his heart that gets to play free, usually unleashed only once a month but, as he grows and becomes more of a man, leaving more of the innocent boyhood behind, has come to blend in with who he is now. He notices it in the ferocity with which he practices during DADA classes, the blood-curling anger he feels when talking about Walburga, the immense jealousy that freezes his heart when he catches people flirting with Sirius.</p><p>It is a side he is always keen to hide, but that he knows he can show without fear of judgement to his best friend. Padfoot plays with the fire as if he is born with that exact purpose in mind, and now, as Sirius takes his hand and guides it to his own hair, moaning wantonly when he tugs, he thinks that <em>yes</em>, <em>Sirius dances around the flame just as gracefully</em>.</p><p>Or maybe, he thinks, as his free hand finds Sirius’ hip and digs in, maybe Sirius is the flame, and he is but a mere moth, drawn to the light. The pull of his body is maddening, he wants to bury himself so deep he can never be found again. To be hidden inside the warmth of the raven, to be safe and loved and—</p><p>“<em>Moony</em>,” Sirius makes this half-sound, and Remus fits their bodies together, belly slotting perfectly into the curve of his spine.</p><p>He’s not sure but he thinks the older boy might be sobbing, and then when they kiss his cheeks are wet. His tongue picks up the tears and then with the next ragged jutting of his hips Sirius goes absolutely still, his eyes wide and black, so deep Remus fears he might drown in them.</p><p>It doesn’t take him very long to follow, the sight of the gorgeous raven proving to be too much for him – hair falling into his eyes, lips bitten and red, his pupils blown wide and the teeth marks blooming on his pale skin. The sight is too intoxicating and he can no longer resist, he kind of snaps and then lets go, tumbling over the edge with Sirius’ name on his lips.</p><p>They lay together afterwards in a bit of a daze – Sirius won’t let him out of his sight, makes grabby hands at him as soon as he dares to roll away to get them some blankets. Remus wraps him into his arms, digs his nose into the curve of the pale neck and tells him; all the things he never dared to. How ridiculously, over his heels <em>in love</em> he’s been, all this time, too frightened to speak. He talks of how he should have always known, how Sirius is the heart of his heart. How angry he is at himself for postponing this moment, how hard it was to never speak a word of it. Sirius forgives him, with languid kisses and a determined tongue, and he feels there is no sweeter forgiveness than the one Sirius’ mouth can offer him.</p><p>Eventually they make it back to the dorm a little after noon. Remus does help Sirius with tying his obi, but he’s pretty sure he’s more of a distraction than he is any help. It’s very hard to keep his fingers from wandering when the love of your life has your hickeys peaking out of their collar. He’s sure anyone who’s ever met Sirius Black would agree.</p><p>He had thought that that silly, irrational fear would gripe at him as they entered the castle. But instead his palm feels warm in Sirius’ hand, and the raven’s head bumps into his shoulder sweetly as he complains about how hungry he is and lists all the snacks he wants to eat.</p><p>Up in the dorm they find James pacing around, arms crossed over his chest, and Regulus, seated on his boyfriend’s bed, looking bored. Where the bespectacled youth has the audacity to look surprised when they enter the room, the Slytherin just rolls his eyes.</p><p>“Took you long enough, <em>honestly</em>,” he says sternly, his tone annoyed and one of his dark brows raised to meet his hairline.</p><p>James’ face breaks out into a grin, “we had a bet, he’s just salty he lost.”</p><p>“<em>They bathed together!</em>” Regulus shrieks, throwing a pillow at his idiot of a partner, “they should have gotten down and dirty there and then!”</p><p>“Reg!” Sirius’ voice takes on the exact pitch his younger brother’s had, and he continues to hide his face in Remus’ shoulder, “Merlin save me.”</p><p>Remus might not generally consider himself to be much of a romantic, but this moment, right here? This moment is love.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>It’s months later, after graduation and the four of them moving into a ridiculously old farm house in the middle of nowhere that Remus finally gets to introduce his Soul-Stone-predicted-partner to his grandmother. She’s been raving about getting to meet him in the floo for months in her letters, but there’s never been a good time, with their N.E.W.T.s and then the move.</p><p>Sirius doesn’t say it, but he’s ridiculously nervous for the meeting. He dresses in a soft yellow yukata and even uses his prettiest golden kanzashi to pin his hair to the top of his head – until Remus points out that this shows off his love bites quite effectively and then they end up making out a little longer than they strictly have time for.</p><p>Regulus helps his brother redo his obi with a stern look towards the brunette – as if he’s never let the former Gryffindor chaser ravish him and his intricately-done obi before.</p><p>James, ever the helpful man, has absolutely no good advice to give either of them, although he does promise that they’ll have dinner waiting for them by the time they’ve flooed. It’s a comfort knowing this means <em>Regulus</em> will cook and James will try to be helpful and fail, as – for all the love he has for the black boy – he is an <em>exceptionally</em> bad cook.</p><p>The meeting itself goes far better than he ever could have hoped. His <em>farmor</em> has a little more laugh lines than he remembers, but her smile is as bright as ever. She is ecstatic to see him wearing his Soul Stone – he never takes it off these days, as Sirius enjoys playing with it and gets this very smug look at the sight of it, something the brunette finds ridiculously attractive – and even waves away his worries as he admits that Sirius is in fact, not Norwegian, and has no Soul Stone to match his own.</p><p>“My sweet, sweet <em>gaupe</em>, all I want is to see your smiling face,” when she laughs, her eyes crinkle – Remus isn’t sure if it’s the sight of her happy face, or the sweetness of her words that make him smile along.</p><p>“Gaupe?” Sirius mimics the foreign word adoringly – he has prepared some Norwegian words in preparation for the meeting, but this nickname his grandmother has been using for him since he was a child had not been on it – tilting his head to the side, “what is that?”</p><p>Remus’ grandmother laughs again – the brunette is curious now too, because he’s never actually questioned the meaning of this word his grandmother speaks so lovingly to him.</p><p>She explains adoringly, “when he was still just a toddler, we kept them in our yard, he would always make the sweetest sounds at the sight of them, and they doted over him, he is so good with animals.”</p><p>Sirius smiles at the story, “he is,” he agrees, pressing a kiss to the side of the brunette’s face – Remus repressing the urge to giggle childishly.</p><p>Even though it is a memory he doesn’t immediately recall, Remus feels something swirl in his stomach at the mention of it. It’s not uncomfortable, that familiar tug at his stomach he feels in the mornings, waking up to the raven’s ridiculous drooling face.</p><p>He’s not sure, it’s only vague, but he thinks he remembers  the time when his grandmother took care of animals, taming even the wildest ones. She has a magical touch and a soft spot for dangerous and endangered creatures, and has always told him that even the werewolf inside him is worthy of loving and affection.</p><p>“It is, how do you say…” she tries thinking of the word, face scrunched up in thought, and then, just as Remus thinks he remembers, she exclaims, “lynx!”</p><p>They sit in a stunned silence for a while. Remus’ grandmother goes on to talk about how she kept the animals to care for, as they were very significant in her town. When he turns to look at Sirius, the raven is already staring at him, eyes searching, dark in the sharp corners. As if by some magical string being pulled, they both start laughing – embarrassingly-loud-snorting-so-hard-your-stomach-hurts-can-barely-breathe laughter – and Sirius’ eyes twinkle silver with happiness, like the crystal in Remus’ Soul Stone.</p><p>If someone were to ask him, then and there, if he believed in soulmates, he would have answered a wholehearted “yes!”</p><p>However, he knows, with all his heart, as certain as he knows that full moons will come and go, as certain as he knows that if there is an uneaten pancake at the breakfast table Sirius will claim it, that no matter what, Soul Stones and ishindenshin tattoos aside, he will <em>always</em> choose Sirius. Every day, over and over again.</p><p>And, perhaps even more important, despite the fact that Remus Lupin does not actually consider himself a romantic, he also knows, as certain as he knows that Sirius’ pink lips will be soft against his own when the man leans in for a kiss, that he is the heart of Sirius’ heart, and that the raven will choose him too – forever and always.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>